


In Our Bedroom, After the War

by Runewitch (Kestrelwinter)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Diapers, Existing Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Mommy Kink, Mommy!Kanaya, Post-Canon, Slow Burn, ageplay kink, little!Rose, no dead lesbian syndrome
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-23
Updated: 2016-08-16
Packaged: 2018-07-16 17:55:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7278055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kestrelwinter/pseuds/Runewitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Years after Sburb, Rose began to have nightmares, and nightmares came with...unexpected annoyances. Good thing her helpful girlfriend, Kanaya is there for her in ways that blur the line of "cultural differences".</p><p>This is an ageplay kinkfic and is going to involve diapers, girls calling their girlfriends "mommy", and other shenanigans that might even be cute, as well as women in a loving and consensual relationship. All characters are depicted 18+ (20, actually) </p><p>If ageplay isn't your thing, I can totally respect that, this might not be the fic for you then.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The First Morning

Rose stared at the floor of the bedroom on the first morning. She scrunched her eyes and focused as hard as she could in a desperate attempt to bore holes in the carpet and escape to the first floor. Once she reached the living room, she assured herself, she could run away from her house and never look back and never have to live the the embarrassment that was burning in her cheeks.

From another room, she heard soft humming. She could almost hear the smile in that voice, a voice so dear to her. A voice that meant the world and everything in it to Rose Lalonde.

The humming grew louder, no less jovial or direct in tone and eventually a grey skinned face popped into view, nearly nicking her horns on the door frame.

“You know, Rose, I’m not mad or anything. You do know that, right?”

Rose felt her cheeks grew hotter, until she was unsure if the scorching she felt was due to the morning sun or her own shame.

“I do… know that, I mean.” Rose stuttered. “But, if I admit that, then I also have to acknowledge that there’s an ‘it’ for you to not be mad about, and that’s far too much for such a fragile psyche as my own at this particular time,” she deflected, trying her hardest to ignore the soft smile that came to her lover’s lips.

“Rose, honestly. You’re making such a fuss over nothing.” She felt the cool embrace of her girlfriend, the woman she loved. A troll woman she respected and fought so hard to live in peace with. 

Despite her apprehensions, the dour girl allowed herself to be taken in an embrace by her lover.

“It’s not that simple, Kanaya. There were… complications.” she ventured.

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean, my darling,” Kanaya whispered into the side of Rose’s neck, making the girl flush more than she already had, no longer with embarrassment, but with something more familiar.

“As much as I do love you using sex to smooth things over,” Rose huffed in between breaths, “I do feel that we should actually discuss the proverbial Pachyderm in the domicile, so to speak, as much as I really really do not want to.”

Kanaya didn’t answer, simply untangling herself from Rose and took her hand. In true prim, proper, traditional Maryam fashion, she lead Rose downstairs, through the living room and onto the couch.

“We didn’t have to change venue, you know.” Rose began, but Kanaya grinned at her around a pair of small fangs and Rose knew she was dodging the subject.

She paused, took in a deep breath, and began.

“I had… a bad dream.” She said.

“I gathered as much from the thrashing,” replied Kanaya.

“I know, I know,” returned Rose, “but there’s more to it than that. If it were just a dream that I could wake up from and be over, then fine.”

An awkward silence filled the room and eventually, Rose continued.

“It was about the fight. The last fight. You, me, the Condesce. I remember what happened. I remember it clearly. I’d never been so scared in my life.”

Kanaya looked quizzically at her girlfriend, but allowed her to continue.

“You and I made it out fine, largely unscatched. But in this dream…” Rose turned her head downward to avoid Kanaya’s gaze, “you died. I saw you die. I watched that bitch burn you alive.”

Her voice hitched and she sniffled. Kanaya deftly grasped Rose’s hand, interlocking her ashen fingers with Rose’s pale ones. 

“And then she stabbed me. That hurt, I could feel it. But… watching you go was so much worse. You were just, poof, gone.” she made a motion with her free hand, and then covered her eyes.

Kanaya squeezed Rose’s captive hand. 

“I’m here now though, love,” she said, inching herself closer on the couch to snake her arm around her sobbing lover. “I’m here now.”

Rose leaned into Kanaya, and shook with the weight of her sobs. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she managed, between gasping breaths. 

Kanaya shushed her softly, nuzzling her face into Rose’s hair and kissed her scalp. “My darling, you know how much I love you, yes?” Rose nodded softly in response, when she could breathe enough to respond. “Whatever happened in your dream, whatever it was that happened elsewhere, it’s over. We won, we’re here now. You’re okay, I am okay. We are okay together.”

Rose lifted her head and smiled at Kanaya through her tears. “I… I know. It’s a silly thing,” she said, drying her eyes on her sleeve. “It felt so real though. I wonder if it happened to another Rose somewhere.”

Kanaya nodded. “It’s certainly possible, but I think she would want you to know that we are both okay. What she gave her life for, we have the opportunity to live, so you and I should do just that.”

A moment passed between them, and Kanaya leaned in to softly kiss her beloved.

“I do want to talk about ‘it’ though. Not now, necessarily, but when you’re ready, okay Rose?” 

Rose could only blush and nod. 

“That’s my girl.” Kanaya said, and Rose reddened further.


	2. Second Verse, Same as the First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose begins to get annoyed with her newly formed "habit" and Kanaya is grossly supportive. More fluff, more Ageplay, none of the plot.
> 
> No seriously, there's eventually a plot in here somewhere. Probably

The second morning was much the same as the first. Rose tried her best to psychically bore a hole large enough for her to slither out of from the bedroom window of her joint Hive/Home that she and Kanaya shared.

She must have had too much to drink, she was sure. Nothing alcoholic certainly, as Kanaya reasoned, no reason for their newly made family to have more than one mother with a “drinking problem” as she called it. 

In the years that followed the final battle and the new world that they and their friends built together, human and troll society, interspersed with carapacians and consorts, bloomed. The flower of their universe grew so strong on the vine that it began to pollinate other worlds. A few months after they set foot in their new land, a ship appeared on the horizon and Rose had the pleasure of experiencing a Maryam to Maryam conversation, and while Porrim flirted shamelessly with both her and her lover, Rose tried very hard to conceal her embarrassment.

And somehow…. Somehow this was more embarrassing. Rose was cold, and wet. Again. She huddled into herself at the window and wished that her seer powers let her slip through walls. Anything to avoid the jovial humming that was making its way towards the door to their room, left ajar, to console her.

Rose was mortified. Twenty years old and a newly acquired habit of bedwetting. She hadn’t wet the bed as a young teenager, except for maybe a few times before the game began. She was sure that that had simply been nerves and nothing else. 

Certainly nothing to mention, that would be ridiculous.

After that though, nothing. She had managed to keep her bed and underwear embarrassment free for eight years after those particular incidents and certainly hadn’t wet while sleeping next to her girlfriend, who, Rose remembered suddenly, was a notoriously light sleeper. 

This morning, as before, Kanaya had simply taken her into to arms, no matter that Rose was soaked and miserable and crying and feeling worse by the second for mixing those fluids into her girlfriend’s lovely pajamas entirely by accident. 

But Kanaya held her and she cried. She described the dream in detail, similar to the one before it. Another night, another dead Rose, another dead Kanaya. Another hapless failure and another cold morning.

“You know,” said Kanaya, poking her head into the room, startling Rose, who tried her best not to show it. “I’ve been reading some of your books on Human Psychology, and they’re quite interesting for this sort of thing really.” 

Rose was always amazed at her lover’s ability to pronounce capital letters, as well as the deep and honeyed tenor of her voice, however, she was more inclined to change into drier underwear than discuss the deep recesses of her subconscious at the moment. She offered a noncommittal almost grunt, though Rose Lalonde did not grunt, of course. 

“Oh Rose, please don’t be cross with me. I’m only trying to help.” She crossed the room and pulled the shorter girl to her chest, kissing her forehead, then her lips.

A smile, somehow, illuminated Rose’s lips. “Well then, if you’re so inclined, what are your findings, Dr. Maryam?”

Kanaya grinned, showing her fangs, the kind of smile she made for Rose alone. 

“Well, your books called it ‘Nocturnal Enuresis, primarily caused by stress. Though,” she paused, “can also present in complications in the subjects early home life. Typically resolves on its own, but while it presents, precautions can be taken.” she finished, pleased with herself for reciting the entire passage.

Rose faced her open mouthed. “No. Absolutely not.”

Kanaya frowned, “Rose, you haven’t even heard my idea, it’s wonderful and it-”

“No. No. I know what you’re going to say here. You’re going to say something about your ‘Matronly Temperament,’” Rose said, exasperated enough to deign to using air quotes. “You’re going to suggest that I do something absurd, and then claim that it’s a simple Troll/Human misunderstanding.”

Kanaya looked at her lover, aghast. “Rose, when have I ever done such a-”

“Christmas!” she was abruptly interrupted. “You insisted that Dave, Karkat, and I wear those absurd footie pajamas and wait for ‘Mother grub’ to put weapons under our Holiday Fern!”

Kanaya traced a line in her dress with a sullen expression. “I thought you liked those pajamas, they were so adorable on you…”

Rose blushed, “Th-that’s not the point!” she stammered. Rose took a deep breath and leveled herself. “Kanaya, it’s very sweet of you to try and take care of me. I appreciate it, I really do. The things that you suggest, while yes, I’ll admit that they’re adorable in a certain context, aren’t really age appropriate and are so embarrassing!”

Kanaya sat down on their stripped down bed, patting the side next to her softly, beckoning Rose to join her.

“You haven’t even heard my idea, love.” she said softly.

Rose pouted a moment, then saw the sullen expression her girlfriend wore. She sighed and stomped her feet to plop down next to Kanaya, her still damp underpants making a soft squish on the bed. 

After a moment, the two realized that Rose was still in her wet clothes, Rose jumped up immediately, mortified by the wet spot on the mattress that she had left behind.

“No, no, darling, it’s alright.” Kanaya said calmly. “Though I do think that we should probably get your changed so you’re not leaving any other spots on the bed. Go and shower and put on some dry clothes and I’ll take care of the rest,” she said with a wink.

Rose sighed and consigned herself to a warm shower, which she hoped would at least lessen the sting of embarrassment for her newly developed habit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for reading this far. That's really all I can say, I'm trying something new here and I'll keep doing my best to make the chapters worth your eyeball time.


	3. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> SOME AGEPLAY ACTUALLY HAPPENS AND I GET OFF MY ASS AND STARTING WRITING "PLOT"

"I don’t know what you’re on about, Lalonde. Those PJs were fucking awesome,” Dave exclaimed as they neared the road to her home.

“I was rather fond of them myself, but honestly, Dave, we’re not children anymore.” The younger Strider raised an eyebrow behind thick sunglasses. 

“Rose, we saved the world a few years back. We fucking rebuilt the universe, I think if anything, we deserve a break, don’t you?” 

He was right, she had to admit. Years on the meteor had forced all of them to grow far faster than they might have in better circumstances. They’d experienced so much pain, all of her friends. Maybe being ridiculous and childish wasn’t the worst thing in the world right now.

Kanaya had shooed her out the door that morning after Rose had showered and dressed and she’d made impromptu plans with Dave, her half-brother/confidant/friend to do...whatever is was they did when they were together. 

The day had been largely spent wandering their town, solving local disputes between Carapacians and consorts, nothing violent, but so wonderfully trivial. Today’s adventure had involved some kind of border dispute for a theme park. Rose wasn’t entirely sure she approved of a theme park anywhere near her home, but the Mayor had signed off, and really who could say no to him?

Her home was a modest one, half apartment, half living biome. A testament to Troll/Human ingenuity that was somehow uniquely Rose and Kanaya. Karkat, Dave’s boyfriend, had once called it “the tackiest fucking thing he’d ever seen”, by way of a compliment.

“Would you like to come in Dave?” Rose asked, “I’m sure I could find a tea blend that even you would enjoy.”

Dave chucked, “Thanks, but no thanks. As much as I love you two, the lesbian antics are so cute that I wanna throw up whenever I’m in a room with the both of you for more than a minute.”

He kissed her on the cheek, “Seeya later, sis,” he said as he turned to go.

Rose waved him off as he sauntered down the street. For Dave Strider, to do anything less than strut anywhere would be wholly improper.

She opened the door and heard a soft shriek from behind it. She dashed up the stairs calling out Kanaya’s name in a flash of fear.

Rose rounded the top of the stairs and nearly ripped the door off its hinges in opening it.

Her mouth fell open.

“Oh! Rose! I’m so sorry, I didn’t think you’d be home so quickly. I’ve almost finished getting things ready.” 

Rose blinked, mouth still open, as Kanaya shooed her out of their room, then closed the door behind them.

“Is that...was that…???”

Kanaya laughed nervously, “Well, I did a little redecorating and got… carried away.”

Rose laughed. First a soft chuckle, then a crescendo, then hysterically. 

“Kanaya! This!” she swung the door open, “Is not a LITTLE decorating!”

The morning that Rose had left, their room was a strong and subtle split of their interests. Kanaya used one corner of their large master bedroom for manakins proudly displaying whatever project she happened to be working on at the time. Rose’s side of the room was largely reminiscent of a library, books on shelves, occasionally left haphazardly on a nightstand if unfinished. The room was generally dark and with Kanaya’s rainbow drinker brightness, lights were often left off. 

For the two of them, it was a cozy place, it was dark and calm, and home.

Rose’s eye twitched involuntarily. She wasn’t sure whether to be furious at the state of their room or flattered with Kanaya’s ingenuity and apparent effort. 

The bookshelves containing ancient magical tomes and wizard fanfiction had been resized, and made more compact, a trick of their home alchemizer, to make way for clothing storage, largely pink. 

Their bed had been adorned with pink sheets. Frilled pink sheets. A pile of stuffed animals, all cats with varying numbers of eyes and limbs had been neatly piled on Rose’s side of the bed with what, upon Rose’s closer inspection, appeared to be a card.

Kanaya stood behind her nervously while Rose opened the note and read:

My Darling Rose,

I know that you’ve been having a rather rough time lately and while this may be somewhat unorthodox by human standards, If you’ll allow me to, I’d like to take care of you, perhaps in the ways that your mother could not when you were much younger.

I worry over your nightmares and your moods during the day and, if you’re amenable, I hope that this might help.

Love,  
Kanaya

The note had been handwritten, in Kanaya’s perfect script. Rose was overwhelmed between the unwarranted upheaval of their bedroom and her girlfriend’s apparent concern. She stood a moment, tears welling in her eyes.

“Oh no, Rose, love. I’m so sorry! I know it’s too much, I’ve saved the schematics, I can switch it ba-” she was interrupted by Rose slumping into her chest, hugging her tightly, as she cried for the second time that day.

A few minutes passed while Rose cried herself out, Kanaya ran a slender hand through her lover’s golden hair and soothed her.

“Now then, I do want you know what you think,” she said, once they’d both calmed down.

“Well,” began Rose, “It’s very...erm...pink.” 

Kanaya’s face fell a little. “I know, and if you don’t like it, I can fix everything, I promis-” Rose held a finger up to her lips, silencing her effectively.

“It’s… a lot. But I think I understand where you’re coming from, you want to act like a mother to me for a little while to try and help my nightmares and my...accidents.” Kanaya nodded.

“Then, I’m fine with this. Just...tell me what I can do to indulge you.”

Kanaya’s smile brightened, she stood and walked over to one of the shelves and grabbed an item that Rose couldn’t see initially, then rejoined her girlfriend. 

“There’s one thing that I’m not sure you’ll agree to, but I want to ask anyway.”

Rose sighed again, at this point, she hardly expected to be surprised by anything. Kanaya brought her hands in front of her and Rose was staring at… well, she wasn’t entirely sure what she was staring at. It looked like a diaper, though larger, and...pinker. If anything, this was more childish than would be appropriate on a baby, though this was clearly made with her in mind.

“You want me to … wear that?” she asked, and gulped a bit at the words.

“I would like you to, yes.” Kanaya said earnestly. “Rose, I hope you understand, I’m not going to force any of this on you and you can tell me to stop at any time if you feel uncomfortable, and we can always renegotiate.”

Rose nodded. She felt almost entranced by the diaper as Kanaya handed it to her to inspect more fully. Rose unfolded it and realized that it had been made to her exact measurements, as it crinkled softly in her hands. The base of the garment was centered in a pale pink, with deeper pink plastic tabs on either side. On the front were pictures of kittens with one or two too many eyes and deep purple paw prints that cascaded down the front of the diaper.

“The paws disappear once you er...use it.” Kanaya offered, by way of an explanation.

Rose thought to herself. Kanaya clearly wanted to take care of her in a way that Rose might try to understand and Rose was certainly sick of waking up in her own puddles. At this point, why not? She steeled her resolve and turned to Kanaya with a grin. 

“Alright,” she said. “Let’s give it a shot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for sticking this out with me so far. I've got a tentative plan for about eight or so chapters to call this thing done, anything beyond the plot I have in mind will probably happen through other stories.


	4. Terms and Conditions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Kanaya talk about consent, actually engage in some ageplay, and the author plays fast and loose with minute details of canon.

“Before we begin anything, I want to make sure you’re alright with what I have planned” Kanaya started. She had sat Rose on their bed to discuss rules, and smiled each time Rose’s eyes darted to the pile of stuffed cats, her curiosity nearly palpable.

“First of all, we should have a safe word, something that either of us can use to stop whatever it is that we’re doing.” Rose looked at her quizzically.

“Darling, I know what a safe word is, I’m just not sure that this,” she gestured emphatically around the room, “really warrants it. It all seems perfectly safe already.”

Kayana sighed softly, “I know, Rose, but there’s always a chance that you could become uncomfortable by things you might not even consider at the moment. It should be something that neither of us would say in casual conversation, but that we can both agree on.”

Rose raised her hand, Kanaya remembered her telling stories of being a young human in school and quirked a smile at the implications. “Yes, Rose?”

“What about Xenophobia?” she suggested.

“Too long. Try something a bit shorter.”

“Phlegm?” 

“Rose, that’s terrible. Are you even taking this seriously?”

“I’m trying, Kanaya. You have to admit that it’s all a bit silly to start with.”

“I...suppose.” She paused, in thought. Kanaya had to admit that this conversation had gone differently in her head. It surprised her immensely that Rose had even agreed to being mothered in the first place. Perhaps it was the shock of Kanaya’s enthusiasm. Maybe she had gone too far already? She snapped out of thought to steal a glance at her lover, who had crossed her legs on the bed, with one of the black stuffed cats, the one with three eyes, mysteriously curled up in her lap.

No, she decided. This wasn’t too much of a logical leap from Rose’s normal pace. The girl had always been exceedingly mature for her age, perhaps to mask the absence of her mother figure. Kanaya had planned to use ...whatever this was as an outlet for them both, and she was more determined now than ever.

“Oh!” Chimed Rose, pulling Kanaya back to their conversation. “What about ‘wizard’?”

“That sounds perfect, love.” Kanaya smiled warmly at her girlfriend, “I’d like to keep you in diapers for bed tonight, and perhaps for the next few days, if that’s alright. If you do have an accident tonight, then we should consider them for the rest of the week, at least until your nightmares recede.”

Rose nodded, “I don’t know how I feel about all of that, but tonight is fine. You’ve gotten me thinking this far, it would hardly be fair to stop you now.” she said wryly.

Kanaya chuckled, “Beyond diapers for bedtime and obviously the stuffed animals I alchemized for you, which you’ve clearly already made friends with, I don’t have too many other concrete plans. I have a few ideas, but I’d like to see how you’re feeling in the morning about all of this.  
I’m sorry if I went to far with the room adjustments…” 

Rose shook her head. “It was a shock, certainly, at first glance. You meant well though, and that certainly shows.”

“I’m glad. And of course, anything we do regarding you exploring your younger tendencies is confidential, though I’d hardly think that any of our friends would be be thoroughly distraught with any of this information. Essentially, I won’t say anything to anyone, but if you feel confident talking to anyone about this, I won’t stop you. I only ask that if or when you do tell others, please let me know after the fact so I can remember who we’re keeping all of this a secret from at a given time.”Rose simply nodded. “Though, that said. I hardly think Dave or Karkat would be bothered, especially.”

Rose wore a confused expression, trying to piece that new information together. Kanaya stood up and motioned for Rose to lie back on the bed. “Shall we begin then? It is getting rather late and we should change you before bed, I think.” 

Rose blushed and she stared at her lap, “If...if you think that’s best.”

“I do, darling. Hopefully we can prevent any potential accidents tonight.” Kanaya returned, doing nothing to soften Rose’s reddened face.

Rose positioned herself on the bed on shaky hands, then laid flat against the soft and unnecessarily lacy blankets. 

“Posterior up, please.” Kanaya requested, and Rose quietly complied. She felt the warmth from her lover emanate through the entire room, Kanaya glowed slightly, and Rose wondered if she were as nervous as she herself was feeling. The troll woman deftly removed Rose’s shorts and underwear, tutting to herself. 

“Still dry, I see, what a good girl.” This, of course, did nothing to embarrass Rose any less. She groaned softly and tried her best to roll her eyes, a feignt Kanaya could always see through, especially now, the girl so exposed before her.

Rose flopped back on the bed, half naked and covering her face with the same stuffed animal she’d been curiously poking at only minutes before, pleasing Kanaya thoroughly. It seemed as though her lover was slipping into this arrangement naturally, as she’d hoped. 

The former bookshelf space held a number of diaper varieties, but Kanaya selected the one nearest to the bed, already opened from Rose’s tactile inspection. She located powder and wipes, something she assumed young human wrigglers, babies she reminded herself, needed to prevent infections of sorts.

“Lift up once more please, darling.” Rose silently complied, too deep into it now to do much else.

Kanaya quickly slid the diaper beneath her girlfriend and softly patted her hip to indicate that she’d positioned things correctly. Rose fell back onto the bed and made a soft yelping sound at the unfamiliar feeling of synthetic cloth and plastic against her skin.

It was, Rose admitted to herself, not an unpleasant feeling. She experimentally wiggled her hips a little, a simple motion that brought a smile to Kanaya’s lips, which warmed Rose. She couldn’t remember the last time her lover had been so in her element.

“Kanaya?” she asked, grabbing the troll girl’s attention. “Have you, erm...done this before?”

“When we were much younger, I did something similar for Karkat.” Rose frowned, thinking of this sort of intimacy shared between the two friends. “Oh no, Rose. Please don’t misunderstand. It was never this...close. We were young and he had a similar problem to yours. He fought me tooth and hardened cuticle encapsulation every second over it. Once with Vriska though, but that...was not like this.”

Rose looked at her quizzically and Kanaya sighed. She pulled a wet wipe from the packaging, “This may be a bit cold.” Rose nodded as Kanaya cleaned her, a quick moan escaping her at the touch of the cold cloth.

“Vriska was always violent, and could be incredibly bratty, so, I once used diapers as a punishment for her.” She applied powder and brought the front of the garment up and taped it quickly in place. 

“It was not something she outwardly enjoyed, but I do believe she enjoyed the perceived humiliation of being treated as a wriggler. That, she certainly enjoyed. We were young and stupid and I was in the most desperate moments of trying to force a Matespritship out of a one-sided Moirallegiance, and at the time, it worked for me.”

“There,” she said. “All done. How does that feel, Rose?” she asked, helping her girlfriend up.

Rose shifted experimentally, her diaper crinkling loudly with each movement. 

“It’s… certainly not a bad feeling.” Kanaya’s face brightened. “It feels...safe, honestly. It’s a very ‘Kanaya’ thing, if that makes any more sense in conversation than it did in my head.”

Kanaya simply nodded and clasped her hands together. 

“Well darling, it’s rather late, should we be going to bed now?”

Rose rolled her eyes, “But moooooooooom,” she whined sarcastically.

“Hush hush, my little Rosebud.” Rose laughed at the nickname. “Time for good wrigglers and their ancestors to be paying the mother grub of dreams a short visit.”

She helped Rose out of her remaining clothing, replacing her top with an old t shirt of hers, far too large, but perfect for little grubs like hers. Rose took a deep breath, embracing the smell of her girlfriend in her far too large shirt. Kanaya simply watched, beaming, at the display of Rose acting more childish than she’d ever seen her.

“What.” Rose began, embarrassment clear in her voice, “Of course I’d like it. It smells like you.”

With that decided, Kanaya changed into her own pajamas, turned out the lights and joined her girlfriend in bed.

“Good night, Rose.”

“Good night,” she responded, and then barely above a whisper, “mama.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for reading this absurd whateveritis. Next week is going to be plot, I swear, or something like it. I've got it scoped out, just needs an edit or a rewrite. There's a bit of impending angst, but not enough to qualify for cerberus syndrome. Seriously, you're all great and leave super sweet comments. I really appreciate it.


	5. Forget, not Forgotten.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose is forced to deal with complicated questions in ways she'd rather not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience. I'm sorry that this is insanely late. This was a part of chapter six but I ended up splitting out the two, so... more fluff, kind of. I might give this one a rewrite later, I'd like it to be a bit longer, myself.
> 
> I have the rest of the fic planned out, so as always, thank you for bearing with me.

Rose Lalonde dreamed. This dream did not end with the same endless despair cycle. She did not watch her lover die. Later when she awoke, she remembered being grateful for that.

She sat in a dark room, barely illuminated by candles on the walls, which cast a soft enough glow to let her know that she was, in this dream, still herself. 

Here, Rose was naked and shivering. She sat in a metal chair in the center of a large dark room, one reminiscent of a crypt. She felt the cold stone against the soles of her feet and the soft steam that came with her breathing marked the temperature in the air, though Rose could not feel anything out of place.

“So it’s you then.” Rose strained to turn around to meet the voice that spoke in such a bored, flat tone, as if they had done all of this before, but found that she could not. Nothing visible bound her to the chair, nonetheless, movement was impossible. The scene before her played out like a movie, she tried desperately to crane her neck to meet the voice, but paralysis held her still.

“I could’ve been great,” came the voice again, louder this time, as if speaking into her ear, “but you stole that from me.” it hissed at her, strained to hold itself back but clearly full of rage.

“No, it’s fine. Don’t look behind you.” an annoyed rasp at the base of her neck.

She felt hands on the back of her chair, and she was spun around to face the speaker, voice full of petulant rage.

Rose stared into her own eyes, smaller, blank. A girl, a version of herself, no older than thirteen, skin pale, hair matted, but held behind her classic black headband, a signature accessory for that era. The girl was covered in dark scars, as if the scabs that held them could never fully heal.

The younger Rose eyed the immobile one, who tried to form words, anything, a scream perhaps, but only empty air ever escaped her lips.

“You’re pathetic,” said the younger Rose. “You live a life of luxury, and she fawns all over you. She indulges the fantasies you never admitted to anyone. She gives you her love.”

“And what do you give her return?” asked another voice, a girl who came into view. An older Rose, sixteen or seventeen, heavily pierced, head shaved on both sides, with a crudely stitched laceration traced across her throat. “You whimper, you beg. You want more. You only ever want more.”

“You’re disgusting.” says a third Rose, still wearing the pigtails Rose vaguely remembers from ages seven or eight. “You can’t be a functional adult, so you’re what then?” she asks, high voice slightly lisping, “a baby?” The other girls laugh mockingly. “You pretend to balance your life, but underneath all of that pretension, you’re really just a screaming infant, aren’t you... Rosebud?” The other Roses cackle in chorus and Rose is overwhelmed. More and more of her dead selves join the fray, chanting and taunting, the wail of self-loathing growing stronger with each Rose who joins the public humiliation.

Blood boils in her ears, Rose hears a far off ocean in the back of her mind, but realizes quickly that it’s simply the sound of blood rushing to her head. She tries to scream, but only quiet whimpers escape her mouth. On and on they come, an army of angry, long-dead selves. Jeering and mocking.

Rose feels an uncomfortable warmth begin to form between her legs as the ghosts taunt her, and tears sting her eyes as she realizes her situation. The crowd of jeering girls pause a moment, gasping audibly, and then redouble their mocking. She opens her mouth to try and scream one last time but instead her eyes blink open.

“Rose? Rose? Are you alright?” A warm embrace, Rose sobs into the loving shoulder of her girlfriend and she begins to stabilize. She remembers her living room, Kanaya suggesting a nap and falling asleep in her arms. When she has cried herself beyond the point of tears, she lays back in Kanaya’s arms and takes a deep breath.

“Oh, darling, and you’re wet too.” Rose blushes in shock.

“I-I hadn’t realized.” She stammers and busies herself with inspecting the couch, to ensure that her diaper has not leaked. Kanaya laughs in amusement and embraces her, kissing her forehead.

“You’re fine, love. You’ve just had a bad dream, but you’re alright now.” Rose nestles into the crook of Kanaya’s arm and nuzzles against her chest.

“I know. Thank you, mama.” She whispers softly into Kanaya’s shirt.

“You’re welcome, Rosie.” she replies.

“I think someone could use a change,” Kanaya softly intones to her lover, suddenly bashful and clinging to her shirt.  
Rose pouts, then pulls away and crosses her arms, turning her head away in a dramatic gesture.

“Oh come now,” Kanaya begins in mock impatience. “We don’t want you getting a rash again, not after the last time.”

She blushes at the implications and the memory of Kanaya applying lotion to… not now. She was busy after all! She was staging a silent protest against an unfair regime! Rose was only somewhat wet, so, she reasoned that a change wasn’t necessary so early in the game. 

Dream mostly forgotten, she fidgets in place, until Kanaya, smiling her ever present smile takes her by the hand and leads her back to the bedroom for a change.


	6. Break Shot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry.

Weeks had passed since the the first time Rose had been diapered for bed and she realized very quickly that her nighttime “habit” was not annoying her with any less frequency. If anything, she found herself wet more often than not upon first waking up. Thankfully, Kanaya seemed to have a foresight for such things, and ensure that Rose was diapered on those nights.

That considered, it was a routine. She liked routines, they made sense to her. Kanaya had a chance to use up some of her matronly energy, and Rose had a moment to relax. Days full of psuedo-God duties, arbitrating minor disputes between trolls and carapacians. Breaking up an actual fight between John and Eridan over whether the human or troll version of Dana Carvey was “the pinnacle of comedy”.

That day was a stark memory for her, it was the only time in seven years of dating Kanaya that she’d ever truly seen her angry, when she threatened to saw Eridan in half for the chaos created by their brawl. Though he was only too quick to drop his wand at the half memory of Kanaya’s chainsaw/lipstick combo. 

It seemed to Rose that there were hardly any nights when she woke up dry lately, and anytime she asked Kanaya if she was being a bother, her girlfriend would simply tut and rustle her hair, or kiss her cheek and remind her that their current situation had been her idea, and Rose could not be less of a bother.

Over the weeks, Kanaya offered new indulgences and guided Rose softly towards a sense of routine. She watched with a smile as her girlfriend gradually began to relax and open up. For Kanaya, this was a side of Rose she had never seen, one who teared up skinning her knee in a park. The same girl who could argue complex psychological forms and their practical applications on a given night, could suddenly be clinging to Kanaya’s sleeve hem, thumb in her mouth, eyes wide with anticipation and yearning to be held and fawned over, confident that Kanaya would give her the same respect she always had once she slipped back out of her little girl headspace.

It was a sensation akin to floating, Rose decided one day. Floating, while sinking. A feeling of emotional and mental stability, but a physical curiosity allowing new sensations from simple things. The feeling of cloth against her fingers. The smell of Kanaya’s shampoo. Rose learned to revel in those simple things, nightmares at bay. 

Then there was naptime. Rose hated naps. In her mind, whether she was feeling particularly big or little, naps were an intense waste of time. She could be reading, or knitting, or travelling, or doing anything else other than taking a nap. Nevertheless, on a particular day, like clockwork, Kanaya tapped Rose on the shoulder, as she did every afternoon.

“I do think it’s time for you to get some sleep, Rosebud.” she cooed. Rose, who had previously been mentally noting everything wrong with her copy of Thus Spoke Zarathustra, instinctively placed her thumb in her mouth, and gave a soft pout.

“Not sleepy.” she managed, around her thumb, a great feat, in Kanaya’s opinion, as she stood bemused at her girlfriend, oscillating between her adult and baby spaces, unsure of which to stabilize in.

“I know darling, but you say that every afternoon and you always fall asleep within minutes. Besides, you remember, we have company this evening, and I’d much prefer entertaining our guests with you, it’s far more enjoyable.” she kissed the top of Rose’s head and scooped her girlfriend into her arms. Rose giggled around her thumb, something Kanaya blushed at how adorable she found her girlfriend’s display of inherent cuteness.

“Now now, one last thing before some little wriggler has her nap.” she said sweetly, plopping Rose on their room’s changing table. 

Kanaya made a point of softly teasing Rose during her diaper changes, never unkindly, but more as a method of coaxing little Rose out, when her girlfriend was having a bad day or feeling depressed. There was an intimacy in such a simple act that she found difficult to describe to herself, and, as expected, Rose was asleep on their bed within minutes. Bedtime stories forgotten, Kanaya selected a particular purple pacifier that Rose had identified has her favorite some weeks ago and placed it deftly in her sleeping lovers mouth, who took to it instantly.

Kanaya hummed to herself, leaving the room and closing the door.

“She’s so precious, I have to take a picture!” 

A cheery voice that she remembered from somewhere. She was too little to remember. Big Rose would remember.

“No, Roxy, please. Rose will quite literally decapitate me. I’m sorry, this was a mistake”

That voice she remembered. The silky sweet voice of her mama. Her Kanaya.

“Kanaya, she’s still asleep, I’ll be in and out before she knows I’m even there.”

This… this was wrong.

Why was someone else in her room? Talking about her? Were they teasing her?

Rose’s eyes snapped open.

“Roxy, get back out here!” she heard Kanaya scream from the hallway, dragging the older girl by her arm out of the room.

Rose’s mouth hung open, pacifier falling to the bed.

“You told her.” it wasn’t a question. Kanaya looked crestfallen.

“No, Rose, I promise. I told her you weren’t feeling well, you’ve been asleep a bit too long.”

“But she saw.” firmer this time. Little Rose retreated back, further back into the recesses of her mind.

“I...yes. I’m sorry. Rose, please, listen to me. It’s not-” 

She stopped at the sight of her lover, tears welling in her eyes, both of theirs.

Rose unceremoniously undressed and redressed, grabbing the first dress and underwear she found, leaving her sleeping shirt and diaper abandoned on the floor, and stormed out of the room.

Out of the house. Out of her hive.

“I’m...I’m so sorry Kanaya. That was...really stupid of me. She just looked so cute and I couldn’t help-” Roxy trailed off, realizing that this conversation wasn’t one to be had now.

Kanaya crumpled onto her bed, where her love had slept peacefully moments before, and sobbed.

“Fuck.” she murmured, muffled by blankets, Rose’s pillow streaked with tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise that this isn't the end. I'm going to experiment with how exactly to tell the next chapter, so this might take a little while. Thank you so much for sticking with me this far.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for giving this a read. This is my first time actually publishing ageplay fic/writing anything that actually was worth posting. Comments are always appreciated and constructive criticism is always helpful.


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